Shit List is fascism, claims GB News' Grimes

GB News is suddenly concerned about the rise in fascism. But it’s not from Putin, Orban or Donald Trump’s Make America Great Movement, but… the New European’s annual shit list!

The right wing news channel devoted more than five minutes of air time last night to decrying the list of Britain’s most deplorable characters, with fashion degree drop-out turned rabble-rouser Darren Grimes comparing it to the ultranationalist political ideology.

Speaking to presenter Ben Leo, who mocked the “hyper-woke, hyper-liberal and hyper-hateful journalists over at the New European” – who, us? – Grimes said they “ought to look themselves in the mirror and realise they’re not too far away from the so-called fascism that they all too often warn us about”.

Despite clocking in at just number 31 on the list, however, Grimes declared himself “absolutely delighted”, adding: “My mother’s just texted to say ‘Darren, I’ve never been more proud’. I’ve succeeded, finally.”

Grimes’ listing noted how the one-time Liberal Democrat activist had “been part of a giant tantrum on the part of those who did not vote Labour in May, and is currently getting excited about a petition calling for a re-run of the general election, which has attracted 2.4m unchecked signatures (at time of going to press)”.

He told Leo last night: “Well, we’re all excited about a petition about the general election, and it’s a bit rich of them given they wanted to overturn the votes of 17.4m people. Only 9m people voted for Sir Keir Starmer then, and these elitist remoaners at this magazine wanted to actually say to those people ‘well, your vote, it don’t [sic] count. So God forbid anybody highlight the… 3m people, Ben, fed up with the Labour government already.”

“The New European fancy [sic] itself, right, as a sort of bastion for the enlightened free-speech liberals when actually it’s the complete opposite. Its constant pearl-clutching over right-wing opinions, over the fact that GB News exists – it’s like being lectured on healthy living, Ben, by someone who downs a pint of gravy every time they sit down to have a meal.

“So my advice to them would be exist – stick to what you’re good at, namely, irrelevant finger-wagging like this” – at this point Grimes wagged his finger to demonstrate what he meant be finger-wagging – “and leave the actual debate to us at GB News and the other grown-ups like Matthew Goodwin whose name you’ve just tried to smear.”

Thanks for the advice, Darren – but we might not take it from a media organisation whose operating losses grew 38% to £42.4m in the year to May 2023, meaning investors have shouldered total losses of £76m since the channel launched in June 2021!