More than 30 years have passed since Boris Johnson stepped down as the Daily Telegraph’s Brussels correspondent, having produced a series of untrue scoops about bendy banana enforcers, smaller condoms for Italians and standardised “Eurocoffins”. His Telegraph successor Joe Barnes now appears to be paying tribute with a story titled “Coffee is dangerous for you, warns EU”, which revealed “fears that Brussels regulations could one day target coffee, a staple of the European way of life”.
Are bureaucrats really planning to outlaw the morning cup of java? Of course not. The EU has however banned the use of caffeine as a pesticide after accepting evidence that it is harmful to humans if swallowed.
Barnes was able to drag a quote out of Danish far right MEP Anders Vistisen, who told him, “What is this all leading to? Are they seriously going to eventually force us to drink decaffeinated coffee?” To which the answer is clearly “no”.
Vistisenwas rebuked in the European parliament last month after a speech on the proposed sale of Greenland, during which he said, “Let me put it in words you might understand. Mr Trump, fuck off!” Perhaps too much coffee?
