Rats in a Sack: Yet more madness from Lee Anderson

Unfortunately for Anderson, though, the report was neither government policy nor even official guidance. It was published by The Key, a private company. In 2022. When the Conservatives were in power. Other than that, good work!

A fun scrap on Twitter/X on Sunday night as Gareth Southgate’s Glory Boys were denied Euros victory by the sublime Spanish.

“The thing is we’re going for growth and couldn’t have afforded the bank holiday anyway,” posted the News Agents’ Lewis Goodall, looking on the positive side. To which Harry Cole, political editor of The Sun, responded: “Don’t be a prick mate.”

“As the political editor of a joke outfit I thought you’d be quicker on the uptake,” said Goodall.

Time for the referee to encourage both sides to calm down!

LBC presenter Iain Dale, meanwhile, was taking umbrage with the Spanish players apparently refusing to sing their national anthem. “What contrast between the two teams,” he harrumphed. “Every England player belted out the national anthem with gusto. Not a single Spanish player opened his mouth.”

Alas, when it was pointed out to Dale that the Spaniards’ reticence was largely due to their national anthem not actually having any words, he backed down. “So, ok, I didn’t know the Spanish national anthem doesn’t have lyrics,” he posted. “This means of course that according to Twitter I am the thickest person in the country and should hang my head in utter shame. Hey ho.”

As social media and the pundits debate whether Gareth Southgate really has done enough to have earned the huge honour of a knighthood, a reminder of just a few of the Conservative MPs flung one in the past few years: Oliver Dowden, Iain Duncan Smith, Jacob Rees-Mogg, David Davis, Mark Spencer, Jake Berry, Philip Davies and Gavin Williamson. Yes, that Gavin Williamson.

GB News has confirmed that Nigel Farage will continue presenting his evening programme after finally being elected to Parliament, hosting Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings.

Might Ofcom finally wake up and take action? GB News has previously got around the issue of employing active politicians to host their programmes by claiming they were not pretending to be impartial hosts of “news” programmes but were instead the openly opinionated presenters of “current affairs” programmes.

Farage, however, won Best News Presenter at the TRIC (Television and Radio Industries Club) awards last month, a trophy his employer was keen to trumpet. Will they now perform a reverse ferret, going back to claiming their award-winning news presenter is, er, nothing of the sort?

(Farage’s election, by the way, means his outside earnings will have to be declared in the Commons’ register of members’ interests, making public just how much GB News is parting with for their star presenter’s golf club philosophising).

More evidence that Boris Johnson might have got cold feet on taking up his GB News show once it dawned on him many of his future colleagues did not share his view that Vladimir Putin shouldn’t be allowed to turn Ukraine into a car park.

Meeting Donald Trump at the Republican convention in Milwaukee this week (and posing with thumbs aloft, like the city’s greatest resident, Arthur Fonzarelli), Johnson posted: “We discussed Ukraine and I have no doubt that he will be strong and decisive in supporting that country and defending democracy.”

GB News presenter Martin Daubney responded “We discussed Ukraine?” with a tired emoji, indicating that the first major war in Europe since 1945 was a snoozefest. Meanwhile Daubney’s many followers indicated the former PM’s support for the country could only be financially induced. Perhaps Johnson finally discovered an organisation too toxic for even him!

In the dog days of Rishi Sunak’s premiership, one MP who was always willing to take on the media rounds and argue that black was actually white and we had always been at war with Eastasia was Chris Philp, then police minister, now shadow leader of the House.

A couple of weeks on and Philp is once more batting hard for his party on the trickiest of wickets. Doing the round of morning shows on the morning of the King’s Speech he insisted that “there’s no way that Rachel Reeves can possibly claim the economy’s not in good shape” thanks to the Conservatives’ stewardship, while, simultaneously, shirking any responsibility for the 1,185 migrants who have crossed the channel since Labour entered office (they “are Keir Starmer’s responsibility”).

Could he be the next leader? “Well, I haven’t really given that any thought… I’ve got no plans at the moment” he teased Sky News’ Kay Burley. #Philp4Leader starts here!

“Spotted in the Lords gallery,” posted Sun on Sunday political editor Kate Ferguson on the day of the King’s Speech, as her eyes hit on Plaid Cymru peer Carmen Smith. “Tiny tot peer who is just 27. She has pink hair.”

Oddly, there appears to be no record of Ferguson attacking fellow millennial peers Charlotte Owen (30 when elevated to the peerage) and Ross Kempsell (31), but then they are Conservatives – and Ferguson is the partner of former Tory chairman Richard Holden, responsible for their highly successful general election campaign.

Still, let’s leave the final word to Smith: “Fuck the Sun.”

Another serving politician to have a broadcast side-hustle is Ed Vaizey who, alongside sitting on the Conservative benches in the House of Lords, has an afternoon presenting job on Times Radio.

Maybe not one for Welsh listeners with high blood pressure, though. In his coverage of Vaughan Gething’s resignation as first minister, Vaizey managed to pronounce his name as ‘Getting’ repeatedly, introduced a guest as being from a party apparently called ‘Plaid Cumroo’ and made numerous references to the Welsh Assembly, a body which hasn’t existed for more than four years. It’s been the Senedd, or Welsh Parliament, since 2020.

“In recent years the crimson-faced intolerance for those possessing different opinions has made discussion not just difficult but, in some quarters, dangerous… It dissuades many from playing a part in politics. It behoves us all to rein in the demonising language that many consider an acceptable substitute for calm, reasoned debate.”

Daily Mail editorial in the wake of the assassination attempt on Donald Trump and a milkshake being hurled at Nigel Farage, July 17, 2024

“ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE: Fury over ‘out of touch’ judges who defied 17.4m Brexit voters and could trigger constitutional crisis’

Daily Mail front page after the high court decided the government did not have the power to trigger article 50, complete with pictures of the judges involved, November 4, 2016

“In a stunning move, Mrs May calls bluff of the ‘game-playing’ Remoaners (including ‘unelected’ Lords) with a snap election and vows to… CRUSH THE SABOTEURS”

Daily Mail front page after Theresa May called a general election, April 19, 2017

“Why would ANY of us want to go on holiday to Europe ever again?,” why-oh-whyed Sarah Vine in her Daily Mail column this week, citing being “treated like cattle at customs” among reasons why she was boycotting the continent.

Can Vine perhaps think of any decisions she enthusiastically backed and that her former husband championed which may have made passing through customs a tad tricker for UK citizens in recent years?

Finally, with Jonathan Gullis having been booted out of parliament (and in sad news for Stoke-on-Trent’s youth, he has ruled out a return to teaching) there is an opening for Anti-Avocado Campaigner-in-Chief.

Gullis repeatedly used parliamentary time to rail against the buttery fruit, a foodstuff he equated with snooty Londoners and with which his constituents would have no truck. But with him long gone, might Keir Starmer step into the breach?

The PM’s relationship with the avocado is complicated. Both the Mail on Sunday and Popbitch have reported recently that Starmer hates the golden-green fruit. But here’s a line from the Financial Times last month, when the Labour leader was interviewed over lunch: “I ask how his parents would feel if they could see him on the threshold of Number 10 Downing Street: ‘They would be so proud. I can see my mum beaming,’ he says, a piece of avocado on his fork.”

Do we need the first public inquiry of Labour’s time in office?