Rats in a Sack: Food Standards Agency to blame for riots, suggests Reform MP

“And what you’ve now got are loads of quangos that have been disintermediated between us, the elected MPs – and we are the elected part of government, effectively, you know, in 1688 – one of the greatest moments of British history – we embedded all this in the Glorious Revolution and the declaration of rights, so this has all been undermined by Blair. You’ve got to look at the root causes of this.”

So there you go – next time you see a masked-up 18-year-old smashing the windows of a JD Sports, it’s because they’re furious about the establishment of the Food Standards Agency in 2000!

Former Ukip leader Lord Pearson of Rannoch, who led his party into the 2010 election (snapping at the BBC’s Jon Sopel in a TV interview “I haven’t come here to discuss my manifesto”), now has more prosaic issues concerning him.

He issued a formal written question to the House of Lords’ senior deputy speaker asking “whether he intends to reinstate the word ‘Peers’ on the door to the gentlemen’s toilets adjacent to the Prince’s Chamber, and if not, why”.

Alas, tasked with answering the question as chair of the upper house’s services committee, Labour peer Baroness McIntosh of Hudnall responded that there were “no plans to reinstate the word ‘Peers’ on the door to the gentlemen’s toilets adjacent to the Prince’s Chamber as the use of the toilets is not limited to members of the House”. 

Lord Pearson is 82. How cruel if Labour were to bring in their age limit of 80 and the nation would be deprived of his talents as a legislator-for-life!

As his party begins to rip itself to shreds in an ugly leadership campaign, Robert Buckland, one of the last few One Nationers left in the Conservatives, has other things on his mind.

“What is a brat summer?,” the former justice secretary wrote on Twitter/X. “I think I may be having one, even though I don’t really know what on earth it is.”

As for that Tory leadership campaign, the Sun reported at the weekend that broadcasters are vying for the chance to host what it dubbed “US presidential-style debates” between the six contenders, with party chairman Richard Fuller considering the bids.

It’s difficult, however, to see why any channel would bother. When, in the wake of Boris Johnson’s defenestration, ITV hosted a televised debate between the contenders to succeed him, it was beaten in the ratings by the BBC’s Countryfile – and that was when the winner would enter Downing Street as prime minister.

Now, with the victor set to inherit a warring party of 121 MPs and at least a decade out of power, any debate is hardly set to rival the 1977 Morecambe and Wise Christmas special as must-watch TV!

The eventual winner of that campaign, was Liz Truss, who this week made her debut at the Edinburgh Fringe, being interviewed for an hour by LBC’s Matthew Stadlen.

And what an hour! The ill-starred former PM told the audience she “desperately” wanted to see Donald Trump elected as US president in November, said it was a “shame” Suella Braverman was not standing to be the next Tory leader and added she could see Nigel Farage returning to the party as she was worried it was “shifting to the left”.

She also broke her silence on Rishi Sunak, whom she said she “didn’t get on with” and had not spoken to him since the election. “I would have run a better campaign,” she claimed, after, er, managing to lose her own previously rock-solid seat.

And when one audience member asked whether she would apologise for her disastrous mini-budget, Truss described it as an “inane comment” from someone “who doesn’t understand or care about what’s going on”, and cared more about “trading political insults”. When Stadlen put it to her that, technically, asking someone to apologise for their actions is not an insult, Truss sniffed: “I take it as an insult.” Sometimes it’s a mystery how she lasted as long as she did…

Back to this year’s contest, and Priti Patel – currently fifth favourite, at an average 14/1 – has signed up an exciting young talent to run her ground campaign over the coming months.

It’s… Jonathan Gullis, the simian former Stoke MP who was deputy chair of the Conservatives for a glorious three-and-a-bit months before, having spent his brief time in Parliament largely boasting how Stoke would never vote Labour again, losing his seat to the party on a 16.6% swing.

With the Staffordshire Josh Lyman on board, the Prittster (© B. Johnson) can surely start measuring the curtains for her office now!

Outflanking Patel on the right is Robert Jenrick, the bookies’ second favourite at 11/8. Jenrick is keen on free speech, telling GB News in June: “I believe in free speech. That’s one of the great tenets of this country and we should always fight for that.”

And that, presumably, extends to the freedom to say God is great in Arabic? “I think it is quite wrong that somebody can shout Allahu Akbar on the streets of London and not be immediately arrested,” he told Sky News this week. It is not entirely clear on what charge one may be immediately arrested for shouting Allahu Akbar on the streets of London but, to be fair to Jenrick, it’s not like he’s a lawyer.

What? Eh? Oh.

Meanwhile, why aren’t the contenders addressing the real reason the Tories were turfed out – that their activists are too smartly dressed?

“When canvassing, you saw Conservative candidates being thronged with young activists wearing smart shirts and jackets,” writes former candidate Hugo Sugg on the conservativehome site.

“Just think, if we’re knocking on doors in working-class areas where families are on the breadline and struggling, what is their reaction going to be when they open it and see people who just look ‘better’ than them? Can they afford a tailored jacket from Flannels? Of course not.

“Now of course I’m not saying Conservatives should all be scruffy and wear tracksuits to canvass or present themselves to the general public, but our image matters when the topic matters.”

Problem identified – but what’s the solution? Bringing back William Hague’s baseball caps? Ken Clark’s egg-stained ties?

Meanwhile, the poor old Daily Express continues to deal with the disastrous electoral drubbing for its beloved Conservatives more than a month ago by pretending it didn’t happen.

As recently as yesterday (August 7) its online comment page prominently featured numerous articles written before Britain went to the polls and which haven’t necessarily aged well.

Close to the top of the page and under the headline ‘Don’t usher in a Labour government if you believe in conservative values’ political editor Sam Lister can still be found warning readers that “wishing the government was more right-wing while casting a vote that ushers Labour into No 10 risks a short-term bloody nose for Tories that comes with long-term pain for the nation”. Directly underneath it, however, Alex Story, a former Conservative candidate, is advising how “Nigel Farage and Reform are the only real alternative in the forthcoming election”.

Meanwhile, in a piece attacking Labour’s fisheries policy, Steve Double writes how he hopes voters “will keep this in mind when it comes to casting their vote on 4th July”. That article has dated particularly badly, beginning, as it does, “As a Cornish MP for one of the few constituencies that has two separate coasts…”. Double lost his seat to Labour last month.

“Sorry, who?,” mocked Daily Mail columnist Sarah Vine on Twitter/X this week as model Tasha Ghouri and reality TV star Pete Wicks were confirmed for this year’s Strictly Come Dancing.

Which would be an entirely fair reaction, were Vine’s employer not so obsessed with the pair that each of them has their own devoted page on the paper’s website. The Mail has published no fewer than 27 articles about Ghouri this year alone, with such vital updates as her wearing a string bikini while on holiday in the Maldives (March 7), her putting on “a sizzling display in a busty black lace catsuit” (March 26), her sporting a new hairdo at the premiere of the new Mad Max film (May 17) and her attending the FA Cup final (May 25).

Wicks, meanwhile, has been the subject of a whopping 53 Mail stories so far this year, with such articles as him going to a restaurant in Mayfair (March 14), partying in Manchester (April 7), having “a giggle on cosy night out with bikini-clad beauty Mariella Magali at O Beach in Ibiza” (May 6) and, er, getting into a taxi (May 13).

Vine might not know who they are, but editor Ted Verity is clearly a fan. Maybe she should get with the programme!