Dubai Dicky gets a mauling from Julia Hartley-Brewer

A stopped clock, as the saying goes, is right twice a day, and it is with that in mind that Rats in a Sack can report that… Julia Hartley-Brewer has found herself on the right side of history.

Reform deputy leader Richard Tice probably thought he was on a pretty safe wicket when he went on Harley-Brewer’s Talk (formerly TalkTV) show yesterday to recite his party’s established foreign policy position that Donald Trump is right about everything.

Unfortunately for Dubai Dicky, the occasional MP for Boston and Skegness, he found himself coming under some surprisingly hard questioning on his party’s backing for Trump’s unilateral peace deal in Ukraine.

“Which part of Britain would you give away if we were invaded and you wanted to negotiate a peace?,” asked Hartley-Brewer. “None at all, none at all,” responded Tice. “Oh, so you wouldn’t want to give away any of Britain? But it’s ok to give away a bit of Ukraine?” asked the presenter. “Hang on, it’s not us giving it away, Julia, it’s Ukraine,” said Tice, fundamentally misunderstanding the question, Trump’s negotiation and the entire invasion more widely. “Ukraine doesn’t want to give it away,” explained Hartley-Brewer, speaking like Joyce Grenfell to a particularly simple child.

“Ultimately in Northern Ireland, there was a negotiation to stop the killing,” said Tice. “It involved horrendous compromises that lots of people didn’t want to make.” “We didn’t give away territory,” said Hartley-Brewer. “That’s also correct,” conceded Tice.

“How long would you fight for this country?,” ended Hartley-Brewer. “Until I’m dead,” insisted Tice. “Well, exactly,” said the presenter. “That’s what the Ukrainian people would ideally do if they were given support.”

If it were a boxing match Tice’s corner would have thrown in the towel after 30 seconds. Perhaps he should make an official complaint via Talk’s international editor – and his girlfriend – Isabel Oakeshott next time he’s visiting her in the Gulf!

Things were a little more sedate later in the day on Kevin O’Sullivan’s show. Interviewing Milly the Furry, an American woman who likes dressing as a sports mascot, about the popularity of so-called ‘furry culture’, O’Sullivan posed such tough questions as “Do you have lots of furry friends?”, “When you do get together with your furry friends, what do you get up to?” and “Do you frolic?” Perhaps Tice would prefer that kind of grilling next time.