A change in government could see the return of political satire

At around 2pm on Wednesday, my New European overlords and I discussed ideas for my next column. Would I like to write about the death of political satire, killed by bona fide political events being too silly to parody? Yes, I said. I would be happy to write about that on Thursday.

Some hours later, God, in his eternal wisdom, looked down on us from the heavens and He said: yes, today I shall make a gift to Marie Le Conte, and to the New European, because they have been good and they deserve it.

First, He turned his attention to the chamber of the House of Commons. Speaking of the Rwanda scheme, Labour’s Yvette Cooper referred to the “government in Kigali”. Former secretary of state Therese Coffey intervened shortly afterwards, to say:

“I was somewhat astonished by the speech of the shadow home secretary, who can’t even get the name of the country right, talking about Kigali government, when we’re talking about Rwanda,” she said. “Respect a country that has a recent living president of the Commonwealth.”

Are your toes curling yet? If so, don’t relax them – there’s more to come.

You see God, in his infinite kindness, then decided to see what could be done in the voting lobbies, and he came across Lee Anderson. The GB News host and occasional Tory MP had very recently resigned from his post as deputy chairman of the party, in order to vote against the Rwanda bill.

The moment came and he went into the “no” lobby, to show the government that he really was very, very cross. He lingered for a while then left again, before getting counted. Why? “The Labour lot were all giggling and laughing and taking the mick”, he told GBN. “I couldn’t do it, so I walked out.”

You may now take your toes, one by one, and try to straighten them again. Mine regrettably seem to be stuck, perhaps forever.

Anyway – what were we talking about again? Yes, that’s right, political satire, and the fact that it is dying. Do I really need to spell out why it is dying? I’m not convinced I do. I think the current political reality speaks for itself. Watching The Thick of It these days makes the whole cast look like a genuinely competent operation, which is ironic to say the least.

The Thick of It couldn’t be made today because its premise relied on the idea that governments usually looked broadly orderly from the outside, but were actually quite chaotic on the inside. The government has, for years now, looked chaotic to anyone even glancing half an eye on the news of the day. They are impossible to lampoon, because reality is so often stranger than fiction.

Another problem is that reality has become too exhausting to parody. Conservative MPs have been arguing about the Rwanda scheme for weeks and months and there have been some funny and absurd moments but mostly it’s been infuriating. Sending a handful of refugees to Rwanda will not solve the refugee crisis. Arguing about it endlessly won’t fix the many, many problems Britain currently faces. Still, it is all they focus on. It’s exasperating.

This is why I would like to offer a new reason why a general election ought to be held sooner rather than later. We could get our political satire back. The Labour party will win and it is unlikely to be as incompetent as the current lot, but they will absolutely mess up. They will have stupid and pointless arguments and petty factional fights, and there will be silly gaffes and embarrassing leaks.

The Conservatives will be as divided and mad as ever but they’ll be in opposition, and no longer in charge of anything. It will be funny to watch them fight, when it is currently enraging.

This is my new pitch for 2024: vote for the Tories out so that comedians and sketch writers can lampoon politicians again.“Make Westminster Serious So We Can Have Fun” isn’t quite snappy enough to put on a cap, but I still think it works. Ending the real-life psychodrama would give satirists something to actually work with. It’ll be good for them – well, for us – and it’ll be good for you.