The 50 most batsh*t quotes of Brexit

2) “In a 52-48 referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way. If the Remain campaign win two-thirds to one-third that ends it.”

Nigel Farage, then Ukip leader, Daily Mirror, May 16, 2016

3) “They took back control of their country. It’s a great thing.”

US presidential contender Donald Trump, speaking in Ayrshire, Scotland, a country which voted 62%-38% to remain in the EU, June 24, 2016

4) “Doo-doo, doo-doo. Right.”

David Cameron, walking back to his front door after resigning and handing over to Theresa May, July 11, 2016 

5) “Getting out of the EU can be quick and easy – the UK holds most of the cards in any negotiation.”

John Redwood, then Conservative MP for Wokingham, John Redwood’s Diary, July 17, 2016

6) “I am out. My feeling is that the European Union isn’t doing the United Kingdom any favours.”

Then England men’s football manager Sam Allardyce on why he voted for Brexit, The Sun on Sunday, July 31, 2016

“I have found three players already who were capable of coming here and they’re not allowed. It’s a shame. Due to the new regulations in terms of the permit they were unable to come to this country, whereas [previously] they would have done.”

Then West Bromwich Albion manager Sam Allardyce on why he was struggling to sign overseas players post-Brexit, Independent, January 4, 2021 

7) “Conference, mark my words: we will make breakfast a success.”

Andrew RT Davies, then Welsh Conservative leader, Conservative Party conference, October 4, 2016

8) “There will be no downside to Brexit, only a considerable upside.”

David Davis, then Brexit secretary, October 10, 2016

9) “We’re not really interested in a transition deal, but we’ll consider one to be kind to the EU.”

David Davis, then Brexit secretary, November 15, 2016

10) “I’m interested in all these terms that have been identified – hard Brexit, soft Brexit, black Brexit, white Brexit, grey Brexit – and actually what we should be looking for is a red, white and blue Brexit.”

Theresa May, then prime minister, press briefing at Gulf Co-operation Council, Bahrain, December 6, 2016

11) “’I was voting Remain and at the very last minute I changed my decision and I went to Leave. The reason… is because I go to the supermarket and a banana is straight… if you go to Aldi they’re a bit bent.”

Question Time audience member, February 2, 2017

12) “You don’t need a piece of paper with numbers on it to have an economic assessment.”

David Davis, then Brexit secretary, giving evidence to the Commons Brexit select committee, March 15, 2017

13) “There is no question whatever that our government will stand by Gibraltar. Thirty-five years ago this week another woman prime minister sent a task force half way across the world to defend the freedom of another small group of British people against another Spanish-speaking country. I am absolutely certain our current prime minister will show the same resolve.”

Lord Howard, former Conservative leader, threatening Spain with war over Gibraltar, Sky News, April 2, 2017

14) “The humiliation of having a pink European Union passport will now soon be over and the United Kingdom nationals can once again feel pride and self-confidence in their own nationality.”

Andrew Rosindell, Conservative MP for Romford, welcoming the introduction of blue passports in a statement to the Press Association, April 2, 2017

15) “It is a bit like the Gandhi thing – first they laugh at you, then they attack you, and then you win.”

Then Ukip leader Paul Nuttall, Wolverhampton Express & Star, April 26, 2017

16) “I think free trade would be relatively straightforward between the United Kingdom and America. If it’s legal to buy and sell a product in California, it should be legal to buy and sell it in Clacton.”

Douglas Carswell, then independent MP for Clacton, Institute for Government event, April 2017

17) “We’re a fuckin’ island race. I get the hump being told that I can’t have a kidney with my pork chop. Do not fuck with the way that I live.”

Ray Winstone, actor, on why he voted for Brexit, The Times, May 10, 2017

18) “Most of the EU states are very sympathetic to our view.”

David Davis, then Brexit secretary, May 15, 2017

19) “If you think about it, the free trade agreement that we will have to come to with the European Union should be one of the easiest in human history.”

Liam Fox, then international trade secretary, BBC Radio 4 Today programme, July 20, 2017

20) “I was struggling to think why wouldn’t a youngster from Glasgow without a job come down to the south to work for a farm for the summer with loads of gorgeous EU women working there? What’s not to like? Get on your bike and find a job.”

Craig Mackinlay, then Conservative MP for South Thanet, tells a fringe event at the Conservative Party conference why seasonal workers from overseas should be replaced by Scots after Brexit, October 2, 2017 

21) “What’s the requirement of my job? I don’t have to be very clever, I don’t have to know that much.”

David Davis, then Brexit secretary, December 11, 2017

22) “Maybe, just maybe, we should have a second referendum on EU membership. It would kill off the issue for a generation once and for all.”

Nigel Farage, then UKIP MEP for South East England, The Wright Stuff, Channel 5, January 11, 2018

23) “Does my right honourable friend share my dismay that Brexit does not mean that we are leaving the Eurovision Song Contest?”

Michael Fabricant, then Conservative MP for Lichfield, to then culture secretary Matt Hancock in the House of Commons, May 8, 2018

24) “I never promised it would be a huge success.”

Nigel Farage, then UKIP MEP for South East England, The Nigel Farage Show, LBC, May 29, 2018

25) “#theabsolutetwatnoonesinterestedgoaway”

Nicholas Soames, then Conservative MP for Mid Sussex, responding to Nigel Farage on Twitter, June 3, 2018

26) “So does that mean we won’t have any trees?”

Georgia Steel, Love Island contestant, having Brexit explained to her on the programme, June 8, 2018

27) “Who knows about Brexit? No-one has a clue what Brexit is, yeah? It’s like this mad riddle that no-one knows what it is, right? So what’s happened to that twat David Cameron who called it on? How comes he can scuttle off? He called all this on. Where is he? He’s in Europe, in Nice, with his trotters up, yeah? I think he should be held account for it.”

Danny Dyer, actor, Good Evening Britain, June 29, 2018

28) “There has been much jocularity around the term ‘Brexit means Brexit,’ but it does mean Brexit.”

Theresa May, then prime minister, House of Commons, July 2, 2018

29) “I would just walk away… the EU have made a huge fuss about Ireland, which is none of their business.”

James Dyson, businessman, GQ, July 2018

30) “We have made clear that we will do nothing that will draw a customs border down the Red Sea.”

Dominic Raab, then Brexit secretary, giving evidence to the House of Commons Brexit select committee, July 25, 2018

31) “There’s a reciprocal agreement where I can go to Ireland and ask for an Irish passport, and someone from Ireland can come to the UK and ask for a British passport. We have that system, that’s the system we have, isn’t it?”

Andrew Bridgen, then Conservative MP for North West Leicestershire, BBC Radio 5 Live, October 14, 2018

32) “I hadn’t quite understood the full extent of this, but if you look at the UK and if you look at how we trade in goods, we are particularly reliant on the Dover-Calais crossing.”

Dominic Raab, then Brexit secretary, technology conference, November 8, 2018

33) “Blobby blob blobby blob, blob blob blob blob blob.”

Mr Blobby, questioned on Theresa May’s proposed Brexit withdrawal deal, Loose Woman, ITV, November 22, 2018

34) “I can’t wait to get out of it, if I’m honest. I think we’ll be far better out of the bloody thing. In every aspect. Football-wise as well, absolutely. To hell with the rest of the world.”

Neil Warnock, then Cardiff City manager, January 12, 2019

35) “I haven’t sat down and started at the beginning and gone through it… It’s not like a novel, you sit down and say ‘do you know what, over the holidays, this is a cracking read’.”

Dominic Raab, former Brexit secretary, on the Good Friday agreement, Northern Ireland select committee, February 1, 2019

36) “Vote for the deal – simples.”

Theresa May, then prime minister, channels Aleksandr the Meerkat, House of Commons, February 26, 2019

37) “If we try to stay and we stay beyond the European elections, there will only be one winner from that, and that would be Tommy Robinson.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg, then chair of the European Research Group, Spectator event at the London Palladium, February 26, 2019

38) “My constituents would be literally rioting on the streets if we say ‘don’t worry, we’re going to do absolutely nothing for the next two years’. That would not go down well. People do not want a second referendum in Berwick-upon-Tweed.”

Anne-Marie Trevelyan, then Conservative MP, predicting civil unrest on the streets of Northumberland, BBC Politics Live, March 4, 2019

39) “I was in the army, I wasn’t trained to lose.”

Mark Francois, deputy chair of the European Research Group, after MPs voted to change the wording of a government motion to rule out a no-deal Brexit, Sky News, March 13, 2019 (Francois was in the Territorial Army)

40) “Oh dear. As if we didn’t tour in Europe before the fucking EU. Oh, give it up. Give it up. If you want to be signed up to be ruled by a fucking mafia, you do it.”

Roger Daltrey, lead singer of The Who, dismissing claims Brexit may make it more difficult for British musicians to play in Europe, Sky News, March 16, 2019

“I do think our government should have made the easing of restrictions for musicians and actors a higher priority.”

Roger Daltrey, lead singer of The Who, statement to the Press Association, January 20, 2021

41) “We have blinked. We have baulked. We have bottled it completely. It is time for the PM to channel the spirit of Moses in Exodus, and say to Pharaoh in Brussels – LET MY PEOPLE GO.”

Boris Johnson, front page of the Daily Telegraph, March 24, 2019

42) “If you now try to hold on to us against our will, you will be facing Perfidious Albion on speed.”

Mark Francois, Conservative MP for Rayleigh and Wickford, in a speech to the right-wing Bruges Group, April 9, 2019

43) “We will not be going back to Brussels to get our snouts back in the gravy train… you don’t put your snout in a gravy train, do you? You put it in a trough. And the trough is on the gravy train.”

Gerard Batten, then Ukip leader, launch of Ukip’s European election campaign, April 18, 2019

44) “Proroguing Parliament undermines parliamentary democracy and risks a general election. I rule it out and call on all candidates to do the same.”

Matt Hancock, then candidate for leadership of the Conservative Party, Twitter, June 6, 2019. He lost the contest to Boris Johson, whose illegal prorogation of Parliament Hancock then enthusiastically supported

45) “I hope we get out, Brexit, because that’s what we all voted for. And sort that out because you cannot have someone telling us how to do our own game.”

Ian Holloway, football pundit, reacts to Manchester City’s injury-time goal against Tottenham being ruled out for handball, The Debate, Sky Sports, August 20, 2019

46) “It is our job to do anything that is legal and constitutional to ensure that we leave the European Union on 31 October. We have a hardcore Remainer parliament and Remainer MPs that are trying to block and thwart the will of the British people.”

Daniel Kawczynski, then Conservative MP for Shrewsbury and Atcham, on why he was going over the head of his own government to persuade Poland to block a further extension to Britain’s EU membership, Sky News, October 21, 2019

47) “The founding myth of the EU is actually the exploitation of women – you have the statue of Zeus with Europa riding, and it’s based on deception, abduction and rape. People don’t know that because they want to talk about money and other things.”

Timothy Vince, Brexit Party parliamentary candidate for South Thanet, Sunday Politics South East, November 3, 2019

48) “We’re working up a plan so people can bung a bob for a Big Ben bong. I haven’t quite worked it out yet.”

Boris Johnson, then prime minister, on a scheme to allow the public to pay for Big Ben to chime to mark the UK formally leaving the EU, BBC News, January 14, 2020. The scheme never goes ahead and Big Ben does not chime

49) “I just wish I was 21 again, frankly. Because, my goodness, what prospects lie ahead of us for young people now. To be out there buccaneering, trading, dominating the world again.”

Iain Duncan Smith, former Conservative leader, BBC News, January 1, 2021

50) “I’m tired of the wokeness. The BBC have got to start realising they are the British Broadcasting Corporation.”

Andrew Rosindell, Conservative MP for Romford, demanding that BBC One celebrates Brexit by playing God Save The Queen when it closes down at night despite BBC One not closing down at night since 1997, BBC Politics Live, January 13, 2022