The topic of “wellness” is inescapable in January. Next month, everyone will be drunk and ordering Domino’s, but for now, the vibe is porridge, pilates and long walks on top of small-to-medium-sized hills.
Just as endless Instagram posts about veganism, daily routines and mindfulness grate – people really do go overboard with the pastel colours and the corrugated activewear – so too does the other side: those people who are persistent in their disallowance of any moves towards betterment. As if their personality is entirely dependent on not eating vegetables; the sort who are dismissive of salad and cry if they can’t have meat every goddamn day.
Anything in the extreme is upsetting. Daily grid posts about yoga: please relax. Also needing to calm down: that bloke who, this time last year, finished eating 124 kebabs in 31 days. You have to say well done on the fundraising effort (he did it for charity) but the fact he was left “physically and psychologically damaged” is hardly a surprise.
I’m no doctor but I recommend the kebab eater try this porridge this time round. To eat it every day would prove boring but would also be quite good for anyone developing man-breasts as a result of excessive doner meat.
You know, porridge might not sound exciting but this one contains dates providing sweetness, the seeds a nice crunch and the coconut milk adding creaminess. It’s the work of chef Natasha Sideris, the founder of an international group of restaurants and upmarket brunch-style cafes. The most recent of them, called (grammar sticklers, look away now) tashas, opened its first UK site at Battersea Power Station at the end of last year.
She says: “This is the healthiest breakfast imaginable: no wheat, no gluten, no fat, no sugar, no lactose, no problem – just delicious goodness in a bowl.” And yes, she would say that, wouldn’t she? But it is rather nice.
Good Intentions porridge
Serves 4
For the seed mixture:
40g linseeds
40g sunflower seeds
40g almond shavings
For the porridge:
500ml milk (or soya milk or water to make it lactose-free)
500ml coconut milk
250ml seed mixture
2 bananas, sliced
4 dried figs, diced
Pinch of cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla essence
To Serve:
4 dried figs, diced
16 almonds, halved
2 bananas, sliced
120ml honey
Method:
To make the seed mixture, grind the linseeds, sunflower seeds and almond shavings in your food processor. The mixture should look like coarse flour, but most of the linseeds will still be whole. Be careful not to overgrind or it will become a paste.
Make the porridge by mixing the milk, coconut milk and about 250ml of the seed mix in a pot. Add the sliced bananas, diced dried figs, cinnamon and vanilla essence. Bring the mixture to the boil. Allow it to boil for four minutes only, stirring often to avoid lumps. It must still be slightly runny. Don’t let it become too thick.
Once the porridge is cooked, pour it into four bowls and garnish with the remaining figs and almonds. Serve the last of the banana and honey on the side.
