PMQs Review: Dame Andrea serves up waffle

Jenkyns is no fan of Rishi Sunak – she put in a letter of no confidence way back last November – but she is presumably even less enamoured with Angela Rayner, as she rose to ask the PM a question about the Labour deputy leader’s tax woes.

“I abhor a two-tier policing system and we must ensure that everybody is treated equally under the law,” she said. “The Labour police and crime commissioner who investigated the Beergate scandal handed their police chief constable a new three-year contract whilst the investigation into the Labour Party leader and deputy leader was ongoing.

“Now two former Labour MPs are overseeing the force due to investigate the opposition deputy leader. Does the prime minister agree with me that complete transparency throughout this investigation is of the utmost importance?”.

Now, I have listened to this question a number of times, and I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about or what point she is trying to make. I gather it is something to do with Angela Rayner, but not what it has to do with Beergate (a similar Daily Mail campaign which left the public completely nonplussed three years ago). Who are these other characters? What is she suggesting? Is it English? Was it written by AI? What about Magna Carta? Did she die in vain?

Sunak gamely tried to answer it and even managed to work in his weekly mention of Keir Starmer giving legal advice to Hizb ut-Tahrir several years ago, but the very fact this review began with this bizarre exchange shows that very little else happened.

Starmer nosed off with Liz Truss’ new blockbuster. “I’m privileged to be the proud owner of a copy of the former prime minister’s new book,” he said. “It’s a rare unsigned copy. It’s quite the read.

“She claims the Tory Party’s disastrous kamikaze budget that triggered chaos for millions was, her words, ‘the happiest moment of her premiership’. Has the prime minister met anyone with a mortgage who agrees?”.

Sunak responded with a barb to the women seated next to Starmer. “He ought to spend a bit less time reading that book and a bit more time reading his deputy leader’s tax advice.” The Tory benches behind him roared. Sunak looked very pleased, as if he’s unaware those doing the roaring will be putting in more letters of no-confidence the day after the local elections.

Starmer attempted to continue on Truss’s memoirs, but his guns were spiked somewhat by Sunak not bothering to defend her. “Everyone knows that two years ago I wasn’t afraid to repeatedly warn about what her economic policy would lead to, even if it wasn’t what people wanted to hear at the time,” he said of the woman who nevertheless trounced him among members.

After that, the contest fizzled out. Starmer demanded to know how Sunak was going to pay for an abolition of national insurance that everyone knows isn’t going to happen. Sunak talked about Jeremy Corbyn, his favourite Banquo’s ghost.

Elsewhere there were regular reminders of those forthcoming local elections. Simon Clarke, a Trussite who also hates Sunak, asked whether people in the Tees Valley should vote for Conservative Ben Houchen as mayor and Sunak agreed yes, that would be a splendid idea.

Nickie Aiken, a London Tory MP, wondered whether Sunak thought people should vote for Conservative Susan Hall as the capital’s mayor over Sadiq Khan and the prime minister enthusiastically concurred. And so on.

Finally, that Scottish growl was heard for the first time at prime minister’s questions this parliament as its owner, George Galloway, rose. He rose to ask about the state of the tram network between Oldham and Rochdale Town Centre… of course he didn’t. It was about Israel, obviously.