No, Mr Martin, Brexit isn’t working out well

And while that was merely on the site of the UK’s cheekiest newspaper, the Brexit baloney was also in the print edition of the Times. Britain’s newspaper of record. In the comment section.

The piece was by Iain Martin, a Brexit flag-waver who does not have access to Kushal Kumar’s Vedic astrology chart, but does have the good, old-fashioned British “reckon”, the disprovable but passionate gut instinct which has served the governance of this country so well over the past eight years. Martin uses phrases like “believe me”. 

As the former FBI agent and psychology expert Joe Navarro has written, “believe me” is “like a bright yellow flag furiously waved at the Indy 500, cautioning me to slow down and question everything being said, including the character of the person saying it”.

Here’s one of the pieces of evidence that Brexit is working well. “First on the upside is sovereignty. For those of us who voted for Brexit — and would vote for it again — this was about ensuring there was no one else to blame. This is working. The Tories are getting marmalised in part for losing control of immigration numbers and that is down to post-Brexit British policy.”

Of course! Prior to leaving the EU there was no way of the population booting out unpopular, incompetent governments. This is why Sir John Major, 81, is now in his seventh term of office. He wants to give up, he really does. He’s tired. But alas, EU membership means he’s there forever, one day running the country through probes attached to his disembodied brain.

Here’s more. “And it is not as though leaving the EU has been an economic disaster,” writes Martin. “At worst it has made surprisingly little difference.” Never mind that, according to the Office for Budget Responsibility’s most recent analysis (May 2024) Brexit will reduce long-run productivity by four per cent relative to remaining in the EU, exports and imports will be around 15 per cent lower in the long run and new trade deals with non-EU countries will have no material impact. 

The OBR’s figures, says Martin are “often misquoted”. Those above are not misquoted – they’re literally taken word for word from the OBR’s website – but even if they are, it’s ok, as Martin has found one economist to back him up: one Catherine McBride. Yes, McBride is a bit of an outlier who appears to spend her days retweeting John Redwood, GB News and the Bruges Group – which is, unaccountably, still a thing – but at least she’s not Patrick Minford, the Brexiteers’ usual solo go-to for economic contrarian heft.

“One of the other democratic benefits of Brexit is that we are not involved in EU shenanigans such as those that took place on Sunday evening, when leaders fought with President Macron over the key unelected European Commission postings following the rightward tilt in the European elections,” Martin also adds, neglecting to mention that the last two leaders the Conservative Party foisted on the country were done so with nary a nod from the electorate.

It’s all drivel, of course, but presumably reflects the views of the Thunderer’s readers. Except there’s a poll on the page asking “Is Britain better off outside the EU?” and, at the time of writing, the answer is 83% No. Of 41,352 votes. And The Times has a pretty unassailable paywall. That’s not a mischievous campaign by beret-clad campaigners.

As such, perhaps Times readers may be better served by getting in a columnist who has a firmer grasp of reality than the blinkered Martin. Apparently a guy called Kushal Kumar’s quite good. He’s got a Vedic astrology chart and everything.