Should Canada join the EU?

There are a few small obstacles to the idea that Canada might join the European Union. Like, for example, Article 49 of the EU treaty of the European Union, which states that only European states can apply for EU membership.

It’s a sticking point that seems to scupper growing calls for the top half of north America to economically detach itself from the United States of Trump and instead throw its lot in with Brussels.

But when has reality ever come into it when grand global plans are afoot? After all, Trump wants Canada and Greenland to become part of the US.

And one of the many delusions of the Brexiteers was the notion that Britain, freed from the shackles of its nearest trading partner, would swiftly become a major world power again – not by reconquering our former colonies, but by joining with the whiter ones at the head of a new anglophone empire consisting of the UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada.

This fantasy land even had a handy acronym, CANZUK (doubtless the British believers would have preferred UKCANZ). It was a novel idea that also had a few minor obstacles in its path.

First, none of the other suggested members seemed to think it anything but a somewhat bizarre proposal that would threaten their existing trade relationships. Second, Australia, New Zealand and Canada all urged us to stick with the EU, knowing that Brexit would complicate their trade with the continent of Europe.

Oh, and of course, there was the tiny little issue that Canada, Australia and New Zealand are all a very long way away – just one reason why only 3.5% of our trade was with them, versus 50% with Europe. A shared belief in the cultural significance of Neighbours doesn’t really compensate for the fact it is made on the other side of the world.

Despite all logic and the pitiful (yet damaging to farmers) trade deals with NZ and Australia tabled by the Tories, the CANZUK delusion has somehow remained active. Until this week, when it received a fatal kick in the teeth – from someone wearing ice skates.

It appears that Trump’s abusive bullying (he would probably call it “rough wooing”) of the Canadians is driving them to seek solace in the arms of others. A recent poll showed 46% of Canadians now in favour of joining the EU, with only 29% opposed and 26% just a bit unsure.

By contrast, just 24% of Canadians are open to the idea of Canada becoming part of the US, with 70% dead against it.

The poll came days before Mark Carney, late of the Bank Of England and now Canada’s PM, visited the UK and France on his first foreign trip, and just as a EU/Canadian trade deal is boosting business across the pond, having removed almost all tariffs between the countries.

Carney was obviously dropping a subtle hint when speaking at a joint press conference with President Macron in Paris on Monday, he said Canada was “the most European of non-European countries.”

Of course, since we are not Brexiteers or Trumpists, we can concede that something as wild as Canada joining the EU is never going to happen.

But there is now the prospect of an even wider deal between Canada and the EU would protect both from some of the impact of Trump’s tariffs. It would take out red tape and other barriers not covered by the current deal.

It would even make geographical sense, creating one seamless economic zone from Finland and Greece to Alaska, via Ireland, Iceland and Greenland.

The only hole in this huge, geographically connected “European” empire would be Brexit Britain, sitting alone and crying into its warm beer.

So au revoir CANZUK, you were always a sad and impossible dream, and hello to EUCAN. Which has a much nicer, positive sounding ring to it and comes with the priceless bonus of driving both Nigel Farage and Donald Trump round the bend.