A museum of Brexit horrors

According to the Sunday Telegraph the Thatcherites are rallying round to set up a Museum of Brexit. This is to act as a counterweight to the EU’s “one sided narrative”.

The campaign is planning to raise £1.5 million, which is apparently enough to buy a building outside London in a major city with good transport links, sorry Clacton and Grimsby you’ll have to wait for your Brexit bonus a bit longer.

Frankly, £1.5 million is not going to get you much space in any “major city”, especially not once you have converted it (all those pesky post-Brexit rules on disabled access and fire alarms are not cheap) and installed all the exhibits, whatever they might be. So maybe a three-bedroom maisonette on a busy road, near a bus stop, in a run-down suburb.

I assume that like all modern educational facilities there will be a large audio-visual aspect, so two screens in the former living room perhaps. I suggest the video of Lord Hannan predicting a booming post Brexit Britain, bestriding the continent. Or Boris Johnson lying to Northern Ireland’s business community and claiming there would be no forms or checks for goods moving within the UK.

Then they could have some interactive computer terminals in what used to be the galley kitchen, with Q&As for the curious, eager, young children who will flock to the museum on school trips.

A possible question might be: “How much could the government afford if Brexit had not cost 4%+ of the British economy?”

Doubling the defence budget
Increasing NHS spending by 20%
Both of the above

Another might be: “How does Brexit help British business?”

It lifts the dead hand of Brussels from its shoulders.
It helps exports to our largest market.
“Fuck business”.

One of the walls, perhaps in the front bedroom could have famous quotes from the Brexit campaign written all over the peeling wallpaper:

“There is no downside, only a considerable upside”

“We will have them over a barrel”

“They need us more than we need them”

“Absolutely no-one is talking about leaving the Single Market”

“The German car makers will come to our rescue”

“The British people have had enough of experts”

“We send the EU £350 million a week. Let’s spend it on the NHS instead.”

There would be a very small lecture hall, in the former bathroom, with a film on a loop about Theresa May’s red lines, and why they shot our negotiators in the foot on day one. Illustrated with the picture of David Davis turning up for Brexit negotiations without any paperwork, and a short message from Michel Barnier saying “C’était comme tirer sur un poisson dans un tonneau“.

While the tour guides and security will be provided by former ex-pats who voted for Brexit but have been forced to return to the UK. They need the work now they can’t live off their pensions in Spain.

I think it could all be very, very educational, just maybe not in the way the Brexiteers are hoping for.