Brexiteers write poems to leaving the EU after getting offended that poet laureate won’t

Simon Armitage hurt Brexiteers’ feelings when he said he has already produced work, a “film poem”, marking the previous Brexit date of March 29, and wasn’t planning further Brexit poetry for October 31.

Sensitive Brexiteers such as the Rees-Mogg siblings and Daily Telegraph readers have risen to the moment, however, by penning some compositions of their own.

Jacob Rees-Mogg, whose own literary effort on the Victorians sold just 734 copies in its launch week, kicked them off with a jibe at the laureate himself.

“The Poet Laureate used to be paid in sherry / Which made him decidedly merry / Now he is paid in hard cash / Which makes him awfully slapdash / But when it comes to Brexit he needn’t be wary?”

There was a young man from Crewe
Whose poems were good to line two
The third didn't rhyme
Or even scan properly
And the last line was absolutely pathetic
— David Taylor (@majesticbanana) August 19, 2019
 

While his sister, Brexit Party MEP Annunziata Rees-Mogg followed this with a jab at Remainers:

“The British voted for Brexit / Remainers attempted to wreck it / But Leavers fought on / So soon we’ll be gone / As we thrive on outside will they get it?”

Profound stuff. Not to be outshone, Brexit Party MEP Lance Forman wrote his own ditty:

“October 31st / Is when we burst / Out of the EU’s grip / No ifs. No buts / No backstop cuts / We leave the sinking ship.”

The British voted for Brexit,
They looked at the exit,
The cupboards were bare,
They became more aware,
Changing their views, they wrecked it.
— Prof Fennell (@PSFennell) August 19, 2019
 

Remainers, however, couldn’t allow the Brexiteers the sole pleasure of the literary arts, and soon chimed in with distinctly sarcastic responses.

Think you can do better? Show us your Brexit poem and we’ll feature the most notable on the New European podcast – send to theneweuropean@archant.co.uk.

There once was a party called Brexit,
Who's leader is all bluster and bulls**t.
He promised, he lied,
People might die,
But his new passport justifies it!
— Martin. (@mdodson72) August 19, 2019
 

Violets are blue
Roses are red
If you voted for brexit
Forget its dead
— Mark Sutherland (@burnparkpaula) August 19, 2019