It is almost a quarter of a century since I had a vaguely civilised conservation with Daily Mail maestro Mr Paul Dacre. The “Mr” label is important, given the remarkable efforts he made over the decades to have it deleted and replaced with an alternative prefix, preferably Lord. Hey ho, as Mick Jagger reminds us, “ya ken’ alwez git waht ya wahont…”
Dacre popped into my head when I spent part of the weekend taking a break from the Olympics and catching up on last week’s speeches and interviews involving Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Trump recalled to mind something I observed of Dacre on the occasions, back in the late 90s, when we thought it was at least worth trying to keep some kind of channel open to the man who projected himself as Mr, Sir or Lord Middle England.
I gave up around the turn of the century, and the only subsequent exchange I can recall was when he won a British Press award and dedicated it to me, saying the award was proof that bullying and intimidation would never work. “Projection,” I believe this is called.
“The thing about Dacre,” I confided to Tony Blair on returning from one of our lunches, at Mark’s Club in Mayfair, where he is a member of what bills itself as an “alternative gentlemen’s club”, “is that he never laughs.” As someone who enjoys a good laugh, and likes to make others laugh, I found this disconcerting. I began to store up really funny stories to tell him, but instead of doing what most human beings do when they hear something funny – laugh – he would simply say, with a totally straight face, “that’s very funny.”
In my weekend viewing, I noticed that Donald Trump often made his audience laugh, sometimes with him, often – most recently at his car-crash encounter at the Convention of Black Journalists – at him. But he never laughed himself.
Indeed, if you Google “does Trump ever laugh?” you will find plenty of headlines saying “Trump sparks laughter” kind of thing, and some saying “Trump laughs” – but when you look at videos embedded in the stories, he doesn’t laugh at all. At best it is that creepy smile he does whenever he is being introduced on stage by a young blonde woman, or spots an imaginary friend in the audience to point at, then give one of his trademark thumbs-ups.
It is, to use the Democrat word of the moment re the Trump-Vance ticket, a bit weird not to laugh, if you genuinely think something is “very funny.” Dacre weird. Trump weird. A little laughter can go a long, long way, if only they knew it, and could do it.
Laughter has become an issue because Trump has decided to make it one, his campaign pumping out memes based on Kamala Harris laughing, presumably aimed at presenting her as unserious. But I wonder if it isn’t having an unexpected counter effect, namely showing her likeability, joie de vivre and optimism.
There are few things worse than a fake laugh, which presumably explains why Dacre and Trump don’t risk it. But Harris’s laugh comes across as authentic, empathetic and, in the current stage of her electoral battle with Trump, allows her to mock him without all the nastiness with which he mocks her. Compare and contrast these two statements, one issued with a warm smile, the other with a hot snarl:
Statement one: “He won’t debate. He and his running mate sure seem to have a lot to say about me… well Donald, I do hope you’ll reconsider to meet me on the debate stage. Because as the saying goes, if you got something to say, say it to my face.” Cue whooping, cheering and laughing.
Statement two: “I call her Laughing Kamala. You ever watched her laugh? She’s crazy. You know, you can tell a lot by a laugh. No, she’s crazy. She’s nuts.”
Cue his backroom team wondering whether he will ever listen to their advice to dial down on the hate.
As I said last week, Trump is not a reader, but there are a couple of quotes I would put in front of him were he minded to stop digging the hole his laughter attacks are creating for him. First, TS Eliot: “Wit is the alliance of levity and seriousness by which the seriousness is intensified.”
And given we are in Paris, with the wonderful Olympic Games going so well, how about this from 19th-century French poet and philosopher Charles Baudelaire? It is one of the few things I remember from studying his work through an alcoholic haze in Cambridge. In a pretty famous (among French scholars anyway) essay on laughter, he wrote: “The most comic of animals are also the most serious.”
Trump definitely seems to have been thrown by Harris replacing Joe Biden. He may be making a major error in treating her laughter as just one more excuse for the politics of bullying and intimidation which, thus far, she seems to be laughing off pretty well.
Let’s stick with my language studies, with laughter, and with Harris. In my German refresher course, one of the pieces of homework set by my Leipzig-based online tutor, Andrea, was to choose a German song I liked, and translate the lyrics. I chose Wenn du lachst, (When you laugh) by Helene Fischer, who performed the top-of-the-bill Celine Dion role when Germany celebrated their football World Cup win 10 years ago.
I strongly recommend you look her up, and listen to Wenn du lachst. The Harris campaign might enjoy it too, because it will make plenty of people think of her!
Here is my translation:
Wenn Du lachst, machst Du mein Leben heller
When you laugh, you make my life brighter
Wenn Du lachst, weiß ich, wo ich hingehör’
When you laugh, I know where I belong
Ich schau’ Dich an und der Rest der Welt wird stiller
I look at you and the rest of the world is stiller
Wenn Du lachst, wenn Du lachst
When you laugh, when you laugh
Wenn Du lachst, bringst Du jede Angst zum Schweigen
When you laugh, you silence every fear
Wenn Du lachst, ist das wie ein Tag am Meer
When you laugh, it’s like a day by the sea
Und mir wird klar, ich will immer bei Dir bleiben
And I’m clear, I want to stay with you always
Wenn Du lachst, wenn Du lachst
When you laugh, when you laugh
Wenn Du lachst, ist das wie ein Sommermorgen
When you laugh, it’s like a summer morning
Wenn Du lachst, dann lacht mein Herz mit Dir
When you laugh, then my heart laughs with you
Und ich vergess’ alle Zweifel, alle Sorgen
And I forget all doubts, forget all worries
Wenn Du lachst, wenn Du lachst
When you laugh, when you laugh
Und mein Herz, es wird so weit
And my heart it grows so much
Glück wird mehr, wenn man es teilt
Happiness grows, when we share it
Wenn ich nichts mehr glauben kann
When I can’t believe anything anymore
Dann schaltest Du die Sonne an
Then you turn on the sun
Denn wenn Du lachst, fängt alles an zu strahlen
Because when you laugh, everything begins to shine
Wenn Du lachst, dann reißt der Himmel auf
When you laugh, the sky opens up
Du kannst Bilder aus purer Hoffnung malen
You can paint pictures out of pure hope
Wenn Du lachst, weiß ich, alles kann gelingen
When you laugh, I know everything can succeed
Wenn Du lachst, hält die Welt den Atem an
When you laugh, the world holds its breath
Weil es klingt, als wenn tausend Chöre singen
Because it sounds as though a thousand choirs are singing
Wenn Du lachst, wenn Du lachst
When you laugh, when you laugh
Von Sternen umgeben
Surrounded by stars
Du leuchtest wie das Leben
You shine like life
(line repeated three times)
Weil es klingt, als wenn tausend Chöre singen
Because it sounds as though a thousand choirs are singing
When you laugh, when you laugh
Wenn Du lachst, wenn Du lachst
To pre-empt my daughter, Grace, going on to social media to shout at me “how can you write a column about laughter without mentioning that I am a comedian?” can I urge anyone in Edinburgh right now to check out her new show, Grace Campbell On Heat.
I’m sure neither Trump nor Dacre would find it funny… it’s that good. Nepo-baby job done.
